FASHION POLICE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME - AN ODE TO JOAN RIVERS!

FASHION POLICE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME - AN ODE TO JOAN RIVERS!

1410374993_melissa-joan-rivers-articleI was a fan of Joan Rivers.  Mind you, not of her puffy fish lips or her  obsession with plastic surgery.  Instead, it was her honesty and candor in dealing with her daughter that had me in tears while simultaneously rolling on the floor laughing.  One such gem: "My daughter and I very close. We speak every single day, and I call her every day, and I say the same thing, 'Pick up, I know you're there.' And she says the same thing back, 'How'd you get this new number?'"

They butted heads, sure they did, but their relationship was real, where love and irritation existed in equal parts. They were both proud, strong-willed, emotional and a tad self-absorbed. . . much like my own daughter and I!

Melissa Rivers' tender, hilarious eulogy to her mom at her funeral proved that fact.I 've reproduced that speech, in part; below.

Mom:

I received the note that you slipped under my bedroom door last night. I was very excited to read it, thinking that it would contain amazing, loving advice that you wanted to share with me. Imagine my surprise when I opened it and saw that it began with the salutation, "Dear Landlord." I have reviewed your complaints and address them below:

1. While I appreciate your desire to "upgrade" your accommodations to a larger space, I cannot, in good conscience, move [my 13-year-old son] Cooper into the laundry room. I do agree that it will teach him a life lesson about fluffing and folding, but since I don't foresee him having a future in dry cleaning, I must say no.

Also, I know you are a true creative genius (and I am in awe of the depth of your instincts), but breaking down a wall without my permission is not an appropriate way to express that creativity. It is not only a boundary violation but a building-code violation as well. Additionally, the repairman can't get here until next week, so your expansion plan will have to be put on hold.

2. Re: Your fellow "tenant" (your word), Cooper. While I trust you with him, it is not OK for you to undermine my rules. It is not OK that you let him have chips and ice cream for dinner. It is not OK that you let him skip school to go to the movies. And it is really not OK that the movie was Last Tango in Paris.

As for your taking his friends to a "gentlemen's club," I accepted your rationale that it was an educational experience for the boys — and you are right, he is the most popular kid in school right now — but I'd prefer he not learn biology from those "gentlemen" and their ladies, Bambi, Trixie and Kitten. And just because I yelled at you, I do not appreciate your claim that I have created a hostile living environment.

In closing, I hope I have satisfactorily answered your complaints and queries. I love having you live with me, and I am grateful for every minute Cooper and I have with you. You are an inspiration. You are also 30 days late with the rent.

Much love,

Melissa

Now that's a speech that would make Joan Rivers both proud and laugh out loud!

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